My Coco

I have so many photos from this month! My Coco turned eight and is at an age where we can create  things together.

Most of her presents, this year,  were handmade because that is what she loves the most.

The night before her birthday, Steve and I were up late both working at the dining room table, on things for her.

Steve worked on a paper cut card.  When it was finished he put it in the kitchen so she would see it as soon as she came down for breakfast. And she did see it, all puffy eyed from sleep, still in her pajamas.

 I worked on a felt crown for her, it was all her design, she told me just where she wanted every bead, what colors she wanted etc.

The pattern came from this book .

 She also designed her skirt.  My kids know now that they can request one item of clothing for me to sew them the week of their birthday. I found Crayola fabric markers and she used them to design the pockets on this skirt.

The pattern is inspired from Oliver t S  and also from a book called  Sew 1 2 3

 I can't believe she is eight!  When I started this blog she was Tsega's age!

Rodeo

 I love this shot of my Dad.

He kept sneaking Indie funnel cake

 My sister Janet and her, ever happy son, Indie

 My favorite part of the rodeo is when the announcer says "Lets exercise the right we still have to pray publicly" and then prays in Jesus name.

Her name is Fiona, Steve and I think that is such a cool name.

She has spent two summers in South Africa working in an orphanage there.

She misses all her babies there and loves hard on Seg, even before Tsega came home to us.

Fiona learned how to wrap hair in a special way and wanted to teach me, so she came over for an afternoon.

This picture below is hilarious to me, I told them I was going to take a picture.  Tsega was too excited about Elmo to care, and Fiona was too busy interacting with Tsega.

I always put on Sesame street when I am doing Tsega's hair so that it will not be a painful experience for her to get her hair combed. She is now, I realize this cliche of most toddlers in America, obsessed with Elmo. Sleeps with an Elmo doll, talks about Elmo constantly..you get the idea.

Tsega is looking more like a toddler and less like a baby these days, especially that first picture, isn't she looking older? Oh, my heart!

Fiona is one of those people that lifts you, she is encouraging and so easy to be around. 

We were talking about prayer and how we pray at a set time in the morning and sometimes before bed, and then she said "I found the best way to pray for my friends is with Facebook, as they come up on Facebook I am reminded to pray for them and usually what they write helps me know how to pray for them."

It has never occurred to me to use facebook that way, but isn't it a lovely idea?

Extra pounds

 At the beginning of the hike many hikers average between 45 and 50 pounds.

There is a huge push to get your hike on in early Spring in Georgia because  Mount Katahdin in Maine, where you end your hike, will close due to heavy snow.

The hike from start to finish, if you are doing a thru-hike, takes about six months if you average 14-20 miles a day with a few down days when you pass through towns.

You can imagine when you are planning a hike like this, going over in your mind all the things that you have to have for six months. What books to read, what maps you might need, food you want to carry every day, phones, cameras,  etc.

And suddenly there you are on day one full of adrenaline and high hopes with a pack that weighs 50 pounds

By the end of the first day your back is KILLING you, the pack was not balanced properly and all the gear was pressing down on your left hip bone, when you shifted it you decided to tighten the arm straps. The tightened straps  bruise your arms, and caused a hard knot to form on your shoulder, so you tighten the belt and that causes stomach soreness.  Each step is heavy. After a few days some of your fellow travellers are calling it quits, their blisters infected..backs too sore...trail life too hard and suddenly it hits you. 'If I am going to do this really, do this, something has to change'.

So as you hike that day you start to think about every single item in your pack, do I really really needs that ___________? You feel the extra weight of it with every step.

Do I have to have that second compass?

What about that extra pair of pants I bought?

You decide between keep, and have the mental comfort of knowing you are ultra prepared,  or shed- discern what is truly essential, and finish the hike strong.

So you start to take things out of your pack and leave them by the trail.

Before you even leave Georgia you have left behind 15 pounds of gear.

Now your steps are lighter, you are able to push extra miles in each day.

Every  time I have hiked with my father and sister (since 2003) on the Appalachian trail I have  had this running thought that I have just described above.

I have never been on the trail in Georgia, Dad, Janet and I are taking the trail in chunks, usually no more than two nights.

But I have read about it and heard about stories from thru-hikers what the first few weeks on the trail were like.

I can picture it in my mind:

a full bottle of sunscreen on a rock

over by a tree half of the contents of a first aid kit

a book

extra maps

shoes

a  one person tent

a blanket

a radio

cans of food

batteries

 One of the first questions we ask when we meet a hiker is: "How much does your pack weigh?"  that usually gets them talking about what they left behind, how they do not miss what they dropped and how worth it, it is to lighten the pack.

 *one of the thru-hikers we met on this last trip, we parked in town and met him before we got on the trail. His trail name is Rocky.  He was on his way to the laundry mat. He is hiking with his brother, their sister mails them packages of supplies that they pick up in the town they pass through.

There is so much valuable gear left behind that locals come in and collect it, especially during the big waves of hikers in the spring. They sell the found gear in local stores.

But this is where my mind goes, 

I am in my mid thirties now

I can look back and see my nineteen year old self, newly married, thinking I needed so much, I carried so much, collected so much..treasured it all.

The sisters and I asked each other "If you could go back you go back, what would you tell yourself as a child?"

Fun question right? One thing I know I would say is "You don't need that..let it go..you are more free than that, don't be enslaved"

I wonder what I am hanging onto now that is weighing me down, that I am blind to. What I am  carrying that God is saying "Now just lay that right down."

Worries

guilt,

fears,

bitterness

insecurities

 I know my "pack" still weighs too much. I am still keeping some items, convinced that they help me have control over my life, my circumstances..scared of who I would be without them, but deep down I know they truth, I do not have any control.

God is the author and the finisher. He is the good shepherd asking me to trust Him more and trust the mental clutter I am hanging onto less.  I really want to be more like a person that has moved multiple times, getting rid of clutter with every move so that after a while she "travels light" because she knows the truth about how much she needs.

 *Previous hike when we had been hiking hard for three days and were hours from home. I had so little energy left and there on the trail were my kids running towards me, Steve had surprised me and we hiked the last few miles all together.

 *Taken on a previous hike when my sister was pregnant with her son Indie

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith,

let us strip off every weight that slows us down,

especially the sin that so easily trips us up.

And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. 

 We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus,

the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.

Hebrews 12:1-2

Waterfall of Grace

"How then do you serve God?

you posture yourself,

and you maneuver your life,

and you devote energy and effort

and time and creativity to

positioning yourself under the waterfall of God's continual blessing,

so that He remains the source

and you remain the empty receiver.

You remain the beneficiary,

He remains the benefactor;

you remain hungry,

He remains the bread;

you remain thirsty,

He remains the water.

You don't ever do the blasphemous role-reversal on God." 

( John Piper )

My sweet friend Tiff  told me that she had met a teenage boy who was homeless and begging in the streets of Addis and that

she knew deep down that God was calling her to be his mother.

Tiff called her agency and they said

"It is not possible"

"It is not possible"

David RAN towards Goliath.

Tiff had already adopted a blind boy.  She saw his picture on a listing of waiting children and knew, deep down

"He is my son"

She showed the picture to Jim and their heart was as one.  Jim and Tiff both said "Yes" to folding him into their home knowing he was blind.  Baby Jamsey came home to America with eyes that could see his mother and father. 

So you see, her heart was saying "YES" to Habi when everyone around her was saying "NO" because she had already stood under the waterfall of grace and believed this was where God wanted her to be--"hungry, thirsty, empty" but trusting--no matter how painful--knowing this was the very best place to be....way outside of her comfort zone...way beyond herself but kneeling at the feet of Christ.

So when Habi walked through those doors at the airport, it was the Red Sea parting, it was Habi walking through the impossible, walking past the dark alleys in Ethiopia and out into the light of the Gospel.

And there was Tiff and Jim..standing there having tasted and found God to be so good.

I thought all day while I was at the airport how Moses said to the people not to be afraid but to stand back and watch what the Lord was about to accomplish. And then:

The sea parted.

I am not preaching health & wealth gospel, and I am not saying that Tiff and Jim's life has been easy these past few years through the adoption process, but I am saying that once you experience being in Gods will there is no other place you want to be.  Your cry becomes:

"Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere."

Less about the gifts and more about experiencing and knowing HIM.

 Habi posted this on his facebook page just a few days after being home:

"oh God i love you you change my life tanks"

Just a few days later Steve, the kids and I drove to a different airport to see a little girl come home.

We have all been waiting for her for so very long.

When people lean in and whisper "How much does something like an adoption cost you?"

The answer is always the same

"Everything"

Oftentimes, adopting a child, from any country, costs not only money, but all the reserves of emotion and strength and courage that you have.

Liv and Mike's story is so similar to our story with Tsega. They went through weeks and weeks of not knowing if they would ever be able to bring her home, after having already met her.

It makes their reuniting sweeter, more valuable. The air was thick with gratitude.

 Rohama means "Having obtained mercy" they are calling her Romie for short.

This visit was a different, because Liv stayed home with her two toddlers while her husband Mike went alone to pick up Rohama in Ethiopia.

It was more romantic than a wedding,

watching Liv's face so filled with anticipation, her heart was a mix of missing him and seeing her little girl.

Liv was wearing a shirt that said "love is beautiful"

and then for all of us who came to share in her joy watched her show us just how beautiful it is.

When Mike finally came around the corner Liv went under the gate and rushed at them.

 (First time holding her since their first trip to Ethiopia) 

Someone asked a young girl once:

"What do you need? What makes you happy?"

and she responded, 

"Knowing my parents love each other"

This picture reminded me of how much children need that security,

knowing that they are wanted, yes, but also that there is peace and love in the home.

The unspoken language between Liv and Mike was so moving.

Big sister taking in her new sibling.

 Looking at her Mommy for the first time.

"Each day you wake up to a home filled with color and diversity is a day that you wake up reflecting the last day.

The last day when all tongues and tribes will be worshiping as one.

You get a small glimpse into heaven.

And if you have other children, they, too, get to experience firsthand the beauty and majesty of God's creativity."   (from an article written by Trillia Newbell )