Gift From The Sea

I shot this picture at sunset on the way home.  Steve and I were in the middle of talking and I realized I had not taken a picture that day.  I mention that we were in the middle of talking because Steve is so used to me taking pictures that he just kept right on talking.  I snapped a few and then put it away and continued on--neither of us missing a beat.  Now seeing the picture it strikes me as funny.  I can remember exactly what we were talking about, and in the middle of one of his sentences he said, "Just wait--the sun will be better after we pass this mountain," and I was thinking how great it was to be with him and how interested he is in even the tiny details of my life, like the light in my photographs.

Steve and I always have the best conversations on long trips.  One of our conversations was all on the things we loved about the Outer Banks.  The kids had fun joining in on that talk.  I am itching to finish the pictures--it is quite ridiculous that it is four months later and I have not even looked at some of them!

Just a few days ago Chloe and I brought out some things from past trips including some shells from the Outer Banks.  I wanted to scribble some Lindbergh quotes on mine and let Chloe scribble with abandon on hers.

Anne Morrow Lindbergh's book, the one I bring with me on every beach vacation, is called  Gift From The Sea    and for years I have read it, thinking of what I was taking away from the book.  The way it made me think and want to write myself.  When I read her thoughts, it feels like I am sitting with my sisters or a good friend and talking/analyzing about life. 

This past read was different.   Dad was with us on this vacation and he is a huge reader. The first day we were there, he had moved two bookshelves over by the chair he claimed for himself in the living room and had filled them with his books that he brought for vacation.  One of the books was by Julie Nixon Eisenhower called Special People.  Each chapter is a different person that Julie brings to your attention and makes you want to learn more about.  One chapter was on Anne Morrow Lindbergh and after reading it, my thoughts were altered in how I perceived her book.  I knew about her life--I mean, I kind of knew--but never put the pieces together.  She was the woman who was a pilot, she and her husband were famous, they struggled because of their fame and it was hard for them to find private moments.  Then their firstborn son was kidnapped and killed.   This little book was written twenty years later. Anne now a mother of five children is alone on a small private retreat in Florida and writes this book.  I read it differently knowing all of that.  She has the right to talk about balance between solitude and communion--she has five children.  She can write about healing and life she has had the depth of experience.  She survived and I want to listen to what she has to say.

"I must find a balance somewhere,

or an alternating rhythm between these two extremes;

a swinging of the pendulum between solitude and communion,

between  Retreat and return 

In my periods of retreat, perhaps I can learn something to carry back". (pg 24)

"I want a singleness of eye,

a purity of intention,

a central core to my life

that will enable me to carry out my obligations and activities as well as I can."  (pg 17)

"I begin to shed my Martha-like anxiety about many things.

Washable slipcovers, faded and old-I hardly see them,

I don't worry about the impression they make on other people. 

I am shedding pride. 

As little furniture as possible; I shall not need much. 

I shall ask into my shell only those friends with whom I can be completely honest. 

I find I am shedding hypocrisy in human relationships.  What a rest that will be! 

The most exhausting thing in life, I have discovered, is being insincere. 

That is why so much of social life is exhausting; one is wearing a mask.  I have shed my mask."   (pg 26)

--Anne Morrow Lindbergh taken from her book Gifts From the Sea

Homesteaders

A few months ago, Steve's sister Shelley told me that she and James were considering moving out of the big city and buying a farm and sent me the link to the real estate site listing.  I was so excited for them!   I called Juls right away and we oohed and ahhed over all the photos. 

*Etienne with his cousin Ethan

*Simon  (Shel's middle child) who looks so very much like my Jeffers.

*Ethan

*Madeleine

I was so thrilled when all the pieces fell into place and they were able to buy it!  They are living a dream, an absolute dream.  James is from Australia so they named the farm after a place in Australia.

*Shelley

They now own many many acres, I have no idea how many but it is a lot--enough that James went hunting this year on his own property.

They cut down their Christmas tree from their own woods.

*Ethan and Eti in the living room

They have two, maybe three ponds.

There is a long path that leads to a clearing where they are talking about  building a large fire pit and clearings for tents.

One of their fields they use for making hay.

The farmhouse is one hundred, maybe one hundred thirty, years old.  Some of the rooms have the original wide plank floors.

The neighbor brought over a very old black and white photo of the house along with some stories, another neighbor brings them fresh eggs.

They drink their milk from a local dairy and it comes in glass bottles.  I mean really I did not even know you can still get milk this way anymore.

*View from the kitchen window

They are raising alpacas--James built the fence.  He probably chops his own wood for the fireplace too.

I told Shel that they are Laura and Almonzo--seriously.

The whole thing just feels so right, and like one big adventure.

*Steve's dad says they look like a Dr. Suess character

*typical for Steve

*My beautiful sister reading with her son.

Superhero husband

Last night my parents babysat for us so that we could go out with our small group to see "To Save a Life."  I cannot believe it is playing in theaters!   It is very realistic and has a great GREAT message.  It covers almost every single issue a teenager would face: cutting, teen pregnancy, abortion, peer pressure (fitting in), drinking, drugs, and hypocrisy among Christians...some of the scenes were very intense.  I felt like the pastor's son was overplayed a bit, but honestly everything was so true to life.  If I had teenagers, I would watch this with them because of the opportunities for conversation.  It has a definite strong Christian message.  Steve and I both thought it was excellent. 

I woke up with a powerful headache.  Every so often I get migraines and have unfortunately passed this lovely trait onto Jeffers.  With him the pain usually hits a wall and does not let up until he throws up.  Poor guy.  I felt so sick this morning.  I was just sitting with my eyes closed and asked the Lord "What can I do to redeem this day?"  I ended up sitting on the couch with Coco.  We shared a cozy blanket and I read her Beatrix Potter, and some poems (Edna St. Vincent Millay poems for children, also Baby by George Mcdonald, Who Has Seen The Wind?  By Christina Rossetti, The Hayloft by Robert Louis Stevenson and others).

I read them softly so she had to snuggle close to hear but it made it nicer.  The huge flakes of snow were falling so softly out the window. It made me want to lay a picnic blanket out in the yard, play classical music on my mp3 player and lay on my back and watch them fall.  I would have Coco snuggled up in the crook of my arm, with her snowsuit on and I would give her an ear bud so she could share in the magic. Hopefully we will have another beautiful snow day like this when I do not have a migraine.

In the bunnies' wood

(Written by Vivienne Dayrell when she was between the ages of nine and fifteen.   She has a fascinating biography that you can read a bit about here )

"There the Young leaves sway in the wind,

And the little shy fern uncurl to the kiss of the sun,

Where the wood is dark and cool,

With the wild flowers by the pool

There let me lie...

The soft breeze passes by...

I am one with the wild blue sky

And the grass where the rabbits run."

There was a pet "expo" at Eti's school today.  He asked me over and over again to bring his rabbit and I said no because "how in the world would he fit that big cage onto the bus?"  Steve goes to work an hour before they leave. We are trying to live a simpler life and have down-sized to one vehicle, so I could not drive the rabbit over.

I bought Eti a display board and printed some 8x10s of the rabbit (the ones from the blog a few days ago) and he was all happy with it.  I figured a display with pictures is the next best thing to actually having the rabbit there. Steve showed me up (this shows what a superhero dad he is).  He got permission to come home early and work the rest of the day from home so he could surprise Eti.  Steve emailed the teacher and found out when the show started.  The teacher was excited and had it planned out so that Eti went first.  When he was about to stand up in front of everyone with the display board of the pictures in walked Steve with the real rabbit, and the rest is history!

Steve had me stop cleaning and lay on the couch when he saw how bad my headache was.  He made me a bowl of soup and kissed my forehead.  Chloe was very excited because I hardly ever lay down on the couch.  She ran up and  got her Fisher Price tool kit and then hammered my knee caps, sawed my legs, wrenched my fingers--in order to "fix" me.  Somewhere in the middle of it I fell asleep.  When I woke up, I had foam darts between every single finger and every toe and she was still there checking my heartbeat.  I felt better.

Not a big deal at all--the headache was hardly worth mentioning except that I was thankful for my compassionate husband and my nurse Coco.

Plates, stones, primer, and waves

In the summer, Steve wanted to take Coco on a "Daddy/daughter" date.  He really wanted to do something artsy with her.  They ended up at the pottery shop down the street because he knew she would enjoy making her own plate.

They had a blast!!!  Steve said he really did not want to hover while she was painting her plate--he wanted her to use whatever colors and designs her little heart wanted, so he painted a little fairy figure for her to distract himself while she made a grand mess of pink and purple all over her plate.

When she came home with her plate, we all started talking about going as a family.   We own four everyday plates, FOUR.  I only have four because I cannot decide what I want for plates.  I like how durable and light Corelle is but am not excited about the patterns.  My "guest " dinnerware is too heavy.

So this was perfect, we all went as a family.

I knew right away what design I wanted to paint.  I had explored the abandoned village while in Ireland, alone, wearing oversized wellies and getting stuck in bog pits.  It was one of the very very best adventures I had.  My senses were on hyper alert and I touched, smelled, studied every little thing.  There were huge dandelion plants, I have no idea what they were called but they were tall, up to my face, and everywhere, with little wisps of cottony fluff blowing from them! 

Steve painted the Cliffs of Moher on his plate.  Without talking about it beforehand, we both had decided on a scene from Ireland.

Coco got to paint a donkey while we were there since she already had a plate.

Jeff wanted his favorite character in Star Wars so Steve helped him with that.

This past weekend the sisters got together for our annual January Christmas party. 

I called the girls and told them to bring some ingredients for soup.  We all brought a little something from our own kitchens: herbs, carrots, celery, onions, broth, noodles, chicken...

Have you ever read the story of stone soup?  It is a very old old tale and many countries have different versions.

That is what I made!  I brought some stones that I had brought home. I found them on one of our adventures to the Adirondacks, they are perfectly round and were found in a large river bed.  I scrubbed and boiled them to make sure they were good and clean.  

The sisters did not know what I was making until we were all there, it so fun and they all had great reactions! 

I love the idea of all of us bringing something from our homes to create a cozy meal to share together.

 *Julie, Martha, and Janet

This is a gem of a book, a real gem.  It is titled Child Story Reader Primer and it is from the 1920s.

The pages are thick and soft as fleece.

Chloe and I turn the pages so slowly, and take turns smelling the book.  She says it smells like flowers, and it does, like roses in a way.

The illustrations are charming, and hint at more innocent and simpler times.

I have already gone online looking for more primers like this.  Do you all know about Abe Books ?

 That is where I find all my old out-of-print books.  For example they have some of these primers for under five dollars!

Chloe has been a blast to homeschool: she loves to learn and views it as playtime.  She is strong willed enough that she does not get easily discouraged and just keeps plugging away until she understands.

 She does all her other work first and then we bring out this special book, kind of like desert, because she loves it that much!

Oh this day was sooo bad!  I woke up feeling ugly, inside and outside.  I did not even want to look at the camera when Steve took the picture. What I really wanted to do was go back to bed and feel sorry for myself.  It was a long hard weekend where we had constant plumbing problems--as soon as we thought it was fixed, there would be a new leak or another problem.   Steve also told me that it looks like the department he works for is being eliminated  because of the economy, so he is already putting out his resume elsewhere. 

Steve said to me "Remember when we were at the ocean and holding hands when the waves would come and crash over us again and again?  That is what this feels like.  We are in this together and I am holding on real tight."

After a few days of keeping my chin up, my heart was just heavy.  I wanted to be angry at someone and at the same time not be around anyone.  I felt like I did not have the strength to be nice.  I wanted to do laundry (out of  clean socks)  and do my dishes (there were no clean forks left).  I wanted to take a shower and for the problems to be over!  I also really wanted a millionaire to call us up and say "Don't worry about anything I will send you all the money you need so that Steve can go to school and you both can adopt with no worries.  I will pay off your mortgage and your van loan, just sit back and relax."

No millionaire called us.

The plumbing was not fixed that day.

Instead it was this day that Chloe chose to run upstairs and spend half an hour looking for something that would match me perfectly. She found brown corduroy pants similar to mine and our special t-shirts and a pink cardigan.   When she came down she copied every single thing I did or said.  Every job I did, I had a shadow, even when I was on the phone with plumbers, there she was with her phone.

Isn't is it something how God wants us to always be WITH people--it is not His design to have us be islands.  He wants us rubbing shoulders with people.  It was the very best thing for me, to have my little shadow.  She did not know how I was feeling that day, but experiencing her relationship with me challenged me to brighten my attitude.

Our plumbing did get fixed this morning, so we can stop using plastic silverware and paper plates.  I am so SO thankful to have running water again!

"If we had no winter, the Spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome."   

 -Anne Bradstreet (colonial poet of the seventeenth century)

Chloe and I went alone on a walk that ended at a gift shop a few blocks away.  We sat by the window and drank herb tea and called each other our secret names which both begin with "Mrs."  The sentences always start with "So Mrs. ______, how was your day?" and then we both go into character, sipping our tea and talking like two ladies at a Red Hat gathering or something.   It was here, at this store,  that we found this hand carved stamp from India. Chloe LOVES butterflies, so it was a real find for us and we enjoyed making our shirts together.

Retrospective

I am trying to clean up my hard drive and stumbled upon these pictures. 

We took the kids, a few months ago, to our favorite restaurant.  On Tuesdays, they have special things for kids and sometimes even face painting.  So while Steve and I order the food, the kids get to choose whatever they want to have painted on them.

That means that the entire time they are eating, they are wearing what they chose.

Also any errands we are running after we eat, they will still be wearing the art work.

Not a big deal for Jeff who chose a discreet slug.  Jeff spends almost all of his free time reading, drawing and developing his own stories.  Lately he has been creating a very funny comic strip called "Slug Tales"--all about the life of a slug.  So he asked for a a painting of his slug.

Chloe chose predictably

Eti, also in his own way chose something predictably unpredictable...