mymeanderings's Xanga

My friend Shanda

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 12:54:38 GMT

"A Godly mother, their guardian angel, and dear to all as their own soul." -Pg35

"Let God be supreme there (in the home): let His will preside, and streams of joy will emanate from that fountain head- streams ever deepening and fertilizing as the flow." -Pg40

"...The necessity of training up a child in the way in which he should go; and to fit parents for doing so with calmness and consistency, the heart should be kept at peace with God; the conscience should be pure; the life should be holy, the affections warm." pg51

"A mother is both the morning and the evening star of life." Pg 87

"The influence of a godly mother spreads like daylight over life." pg94

Rebecca emailed me and asked me if I could travel to do a wedding, and then she told me where the wedding would be and I said "Yes"..Yes I wanted to go and see my Great Aunt Audrey and take Grandma with me so she could spend some time with her sister. Yes I wanted to see my wonderful friend Shanda who lives there, yes yes yes. I am so glad for all of it..I will do separate post later on the incredible wedding and my time with Grandma, for right now I wanted to show a few pictures of my time with Shanda and all that I loved about being there:

When I arrived all the kids came spilling out of the house--most of the kids were barefoot when they gave me the tour of their property. They are "home grown" kids full of fresh country air, homemade foods and imagination.
When she made me ham soup, she stepped outside to snip chives from her front garden to sprinkle over my soup!
I laughed almost constantly. I am so happy for her, for where she lives, she is truly living a dream, her life is so full and filled with joy.
I want to bring my kids the next time I visit.
We spent time out in her rocking chairs and when it was too cold, we would move over to the little table where the sun shines, and we would sip chai tea and talk about how if we ever become widows we will live together.
One time when we were playing Pictionary her daughter Grace had a rabbit on her lap and then Ethan brought in Parker the dog, and Seth (the baby) was crawling around and the cat was somewhere and Caleb was sneaking a chicken into the house. She has six kids and one more on the way and it reminded me of the happy business of having that many siblings growing up.
I noticed the face drawn on the pillar of her front porch, I am trying to remember exactly what she said but it went something like this "Oh, I hope it doesn't fade--look how happy this face is, whoever drew this must have been feeling very happy!" I love her perspective on life! She is like a pair of rose colored glasses, that I get to call friend.
She took me to her favorite spots down at the creek, the clearing by the dam, the woods, after all these years I was able to take in her views, and to get a feel for how she lives, in her home. Home is so private to me, it was so so nice to meet this home. I have known her since college, but the last time I was in her home, Jeff was a baby and it was a different house. Isn't it true that you know more about a woman after you visit her in her kitchen and stay for a few days and see her life behind the scenes?
Since starting my own family I have struggled with finding a "new normal" I feel guilt where I feel I am lacking and not reaching the level of Godliness my parents had and also feel insecure in the areas where I am paving a new path and doing it different. It is an underlying feeling of "Am I doing this right?" and being with Shanda was wonderful because she sets a pattern to follow and gives encouragement just by her example. I came home with courage to be the mom I already was, and to relax and enjoy it more!

"It is not merely by speaking to children about spiritual things that you win them over.

If that be all you do, it will accomplish nothing less than nothing.

It is the sentiments which they hear at home,

it is the maxims which rule your daily conduct

the likings and dislikings which you express-

the whole regulation of the household, in dress,

and food, and furniture-the recreations you indulge

the company you keep-the style of your reading

the whole complexion of daily life

this creates the element in which your children are either growing in grace, and preparing for an eternity of glory

or they are learning to live without God, and to die without hope." (Quoting Rev. W. B. Mackenzie) Pg 78

I feel like I should just have this quote hanging in front of me all day so that it can be a constant reminder and conviction, especially for the influence of my kids but also as a reminder that I am still growing and who and what I surround myself with effects my outlook, my choices, my awareness of grace and the deep deep love of Jesus in our lives. It is one of the reasons Shanda is precious to me.

* All quotes are taken from a very old Book, the pages all look tea stained and are falling away from the sewn binding so as I read it, it is more like a loose leaf than an actual bound book. It smells like the attic, and on the first page there is a small quote "Home, sweet home, there is no place like home." The title is "Home" by Rev. W. K. Tweedie

Sarah and Dan

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 18:55:04 GMT

They had a friend who knew a friend who owned a mansion.. so that is where we did the "fashion shoot" the owner had classical music spilling out of the windows. It was a dream location!

Little miss excited in the front row caught the bouquet!

The dress

The very fun bridal party

I LOVE shooting a wedding where my sister made the cake, LOVE it!!! I am trying to figure out a way to give my clients a discount when they hire Julie so that I can see her at more of my weddings!

I shot this picture with the people behind on purpose to show you the scale of this masterpiece, so many people around me were talking about how it was the very best cake they ever had, and they did not know I was related to her. They also did not know that I am officially one of her top three cake -tester- outers so they should all be very jealous, ( I have tiramisu in the fridge from her right now as a matter of fact).

We are both doing things we have been doing since childhood, she started out making coffee cakes and snicker doodles when she was about Jeff's age and I was busy filling the walls in our room with photographs.

I will catch her eye across the room at a wedding and we will smile, and I know we are both thinking the same thing, "I can't believe this is us, all grown up, getting to do what we have always loved to do"!

The beautiful bride, I am posting these for her because she moved twelve hours away from her friends and family and I wanted her to be able to share the images with them.

Sarah and Dan were a great couple to work with, even when it started to rain they waited it out to make sure we got all the shots we needed!

The rings.

Ocracoke

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 01:52:17 GMT

It was SUCH a good day! I knew it was going to be good weather and that I should get the kids out of the house and walking but by the time the boys got off the bus I was NOT motivated.

I am so glad I went.

Here are all the reasons why:

One, all the leaves were full, full, full of color, and the light shining through was so pretty

Two, Eti asked if he could lead, because he said, and I quote, "I really want to get us lost".

Three, Jeff held my hand.

Four, the elderly man who lives two houses down, who I have been trying to "thaw", smiled and talked to us, and even brought his dog over and let us pet the dog today. All this after five years of me smiling, waving, and saying hi and him ignoring us. I know he is a widower and is "hibernating" since her death. How wonderful this interaction today!

Five, Eti led us to the little country market a few blocks over. I have been wanting to check it out since we moved here, inside I found...brace yourself, PENNY CANDY. The elderly lady who has been running the store corrected me, it has gone up in price in the 45 years she has been there it is now 2 cents! A row of candies behind her that the kids can look forward to picking out and have some of the memories I had growing up.

We had decided last year when I first booked the wedding in Norfolk to have our family vacation in the Outer Banks N.C. since it was only a few hours away.

We found a great house that was perfect for us, and this time around we invited my parents to come with us, we have never been on vacation with them before and really wanted the kids to have memories with them like we do with Steve's parents.

On one of the first days there we took the ferry over to Ocracoke island.

My favorite coffee shop on the island has a wall with magnets all over it and you can make up poems and quotes, above is the existential quote/poem that evolved after letting all the children add their own words.

There is an old old house (now a museum) on the island where many of the things are preserved and you can walk through the rooms and see what it was like on the island many years ago.

Steve was reading my blog and when he got to these pictures I found him fake sleeping in the most dramatic fashion with his arms hanging down at his sides and his face on the key board and I think there was drool. I guess country cottage pictures, just aren't his thing.

This pattern is called the Ocracoke pattern, one of the inside stripes is always red. It was most popular on the island during the 30's and the 40's.

I love the colors, even the pot holder was cool, it reminded me of something you would find in Anthropology today!

Eti looking for fish out on the small pier

My first introduction to a passion flower.

I had to talk Steve out of buying these foam Wright Brothers' flight goggles!

I was squinting through the viewfinder trying to get a shot of this lighthouse when Steve decided to be funny..maybe he was paying me back for not buying him the glasses.

Steve's idea for the light house shot.

Steve and his boys.

My Jeff, this is a sweet shot for me, after I took it, we walked along and looked for shells together and he talked to me about all the adventures he has on the playground at school, during recess.

My mom walking with Coco

Hatteras lighthouse taken late that same night. It is HUGE, the tallest brick lighthouse in the world.

Jeff took this shot of Steve and I, we are standing out on our little deck.

This weekend was a little get together with my family and it was at my brother Joel's house, he was showing me a collection of old books he has. Among them I found the Bible my mom used when we were all little. Joel would not part with it but I did copy out some of the notes she had written in the cover they inspired me thinking that they inspired her when she had six little ones running around.

"An excellent disciple of a singular master"

"We cannot change our hearts; that is the exclusive work of the holy spirit. But we can and must avail ourselves of the means He uses." -Jerry bridges.

Titus 1:1

^"Paul, a servant of God, and an apostle of Jesus Christ, according to the faith of God's elect, and the acknowledging of the truth which is after godliness" Next to this she had written " My job description/my kids"

One more thing, something Steve's dad said last night, Spurgeon started his sermons with "O, Lord have mercy on me a sinner", so humbling and beautiful. I have thought about it all day.

A living breathing museum

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 14:43:51 GMT

*It is snowing here!!! Coco and I keep looking out the window to watch. I made her some hot chocolate in her little starbucks travel mug (our tradition on snow days). Is it snowing anywhere else today?!

I am just dying to have five of me: one to be a wife and one to be a mom and then one to keep house and one to edit the weddings and respond to clients. And then a fifth one so I can blog about all the wonderful days I have been having and the crazy fun Summer!

At Jamestown, they somehow have created a museum where it truly feels like nothing has changed, as if you are stepping back in time and you can touch and smell and play with everything. For Jeff it was like he stepped into his history book.

When he was a little boy, maybe three or four, he and I were looking through a nature magazine and I gave him a few of his favorite images, later that day I saw that he had ripped a small hole in the center of one of the images "What are you doing Jeff?" I asked Jeff and he said "I am trying to get into the picture, I will take Daddy and you with me, do you want to come?" In his little world he really believed he could go into the picture.

A few days before we left for Norfolk, his class had studied Jamestown in depth, so it was really incredible for him to be there and play the part of tour guide. He loves history and talked to us about every thing he had learned.

*Village blacksmith

Look how young my boy looks in this picture! It makes me so happy, he looks innocent and all wrapped up in some imaginary world of good guys versus bad guys.

These three pictures are so true to their nature, Jeff is my sweet, deep thinking shy one, so aware of what everyone around him is feeling.

Eti is my "I don't care who is watching I am going to enjoy this to the fullest!" (He did not know I was taking a picture at this time, he immediately went into "battle mode" when he put the helmet on.)

Coco is my "Do you think I am cute? Here I will do it again!" full of spunk and drama third child.

A carpenter let Jeff come back and work with him, he was in the process of building one of the homes exactly the way they did it back then, with no nails.

Inside the church. They had church in the morning and in the evening EVERY day! If you missed a service you would lose a food ration. The second time you miss a service you would receive a public flogging. If you missed a Sunday service you could be sentenced to death!

"The best thing to do in life is to explore." Bonnie Tsang

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 11:25:28 GMT

Almost every day when the boys get off the bus they try to sneak up on me, they do not understand that the bus is LOUD and that I know when it is here, so I enjoy watching them crawling up the driveway thinking that I won't see them out the window, or walking the long way next to the neighbors yard and through some bushes to get to the back door. Today I crouched down by the back door and jumped out and scared Eti so bad I gave him a stomach ache and then we laughed and laughed.

Chloe and I have been having the most wonderful days together, after a VERY busy summer, we are enjoying slow days together. The other day she finished one of my sentences and she finished it with exactly what I was going to say! There are some things I did not know would happen when I became a mother, little things that leave me breathless with joy.

We paint our nails and color and draw, and lately she has been so interested in the paper dolls I made her. I cut clothes out of catalogs and magazines all the same general size and then cut out pictures of people for her to lay the clothes on top of. She can't stand the dolls up, but at five years old, just laying new outfits out can entertain her all afternoon. There are mittens, hats and purses...

Today Eti asked me, "Mom if I work really hard at it, do you think I could teach you to be kid again? We can start with the monkey bars" It feels like my children are already teaching me.

The day after the wedding we all went to the Jamestown Festival Park, the first location was a recreated Native American village. The picture above on the left is a basket filled with various crafts and tools, we could pick up and touch anything we wanted to, on the right is a large mortar and pestle, the wooden mortar came up to my waist and reminded me of the ones I saw in Africa.

Eti seeing what it feels like to sleep on animal skins.

A very cool wooden tray and pottery I returned to more than once.

I have no clue, wreaths? There were people in costume who would have answered for me, but they were so passionate I knew they could not give me a Twitter sized answer and the boys were eager to get to the ships. So I took a picture and am hoping to do some research.

I had not slept for more than a few hours for three nights in a row, so I was dragging by the time I reached the boats. It was a hot hot day and the sun was hurting my eyes, it felt like everyone was walking too fast and I couldn't keep up. I was tired and dizzy to the point of distraction, so I went and sat in the shade, and thought hard (concentrated emphathy) about what it must be like to be elderly and want so badly to be with people you love but not be able to because of physical limitations. Soon other women came and sat next to me, with canes and walkers and I had to smile, totally surrounded by women who looked to be in their eighties. I have been thinking lately that I am in the best health RIGHT NOW, I am young and surrounded by my kids.

Yesterday I saw a little girl playing in her backyard, I was driving past so it was a fast scene, but I saw that she had a big ball under her shirt, half of it was sticking out, and she was waddling around holding her stomach and her back the way pregnant women do. She had dolls and toys around her. It immediately brought back to my mind the hours/days/weeks of my childhood that I spent dreaming of what I have right now! I am grateful for being able to live a little girls dream and at the same time I respect and want to understand the next stage as well.

This trip was all for Jeff, I wanted to see him enjoy it, to hear him talk about what he was seeing, and for him to see me enjoying it as well. I was so grateful when God gave me a second wind.

Looking down the top deck, down to the lower deck.

Etienne

This photo cracks me up because it is the cliche vacation picture, "Kids go stand next to that boat and wave" but the cool thing is that both Steve and I were on the sidewalk and they went back in the big boat alone and found the deck alone, they are getting SO big!

Monday, October 05, 2009

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 11:08:49 GMT

We just got back back from church a little while ago, Steve and I were teaching the 4 and 5 yr. olds and one little boy would choose something to do and then just stand there with his eyes on me until I was looking at him, then he would play. If I gave him the reaction he was looking for he would continue, for example if I smiled or commented on how well he was playing his whole countenance would lift and he would keep playing with a big smile but if I did not show enough pleasure he would move to another activity, again standing very still, until I noticed and then he would become animated, always looking back at me to see if I was watching. Some other kids caught on and it became a game "Who can please the teacher" when I would express my delight in them they would just giggle with joy. So I am about to go to bed with that memory in mind thinking about how that relates to fearing God and the joy that comes in pleasing Him.

Psalm 84:10 Better is one day in Your courts than a thousand elsewhere.

Psalm 4:6 Let the light of your face shine upon us, O Lord.

I put some photos together to show you a little bit of our vacation, starting with the day of the wedding.

There have been a few times where I will do an out-of-state wedding and Steve will come along with the kids. I really enjoy planning something for the kids to do the day of the wedding while I am gone. This time, because we were in Norfolk right near the water I surprised the kids (and Steve) by booking tickets for them to sail on a local sailboat (what sold me was the dark sails that look so much like a pirate ship). They also went to the nearby Nauticus museum. Steve took all of the shots in this post. I love the image below Chloe and Eti really show of the scale of the battleship Wisconsin.

Here is Coco and Eti in the sailboat below deck looking out the portholes.

I put these two side by side because I never noticed before how similar their eyes were, so much of their face is similar and I somehow totally missed it until I saw these two shots.

After weddings like this, Steve and I take turns talking about our adventures. We usually have our respective cameras and are showing some of what we saw through the viewfinder.

This shot above was my favorite that Steve showed me. He has not changed in the sixteen years that I have known him. If he hears fireworks in July he will drop what he is doing and drive around looking for them. He is spontaneous and fun..so fun. So he and the kids, at the end of the day, were out walking and they saw this HUGE flock of birds. They stood there watching for sometime, observing the way they dipped and dived and folded over when making a turn. The mass of birds all stayed together creating large shapes in the sky, and then they were gone, they had dipped down and out of sight, but Steve and the kids could still hear them. So they walked a few blocks to follow them and did discover them on one street. You should have heard the kids description of all the noise and how it felt to be there in a storm of migrating birds. Yes, they loved the boat and the museum but the bird chasing was free and a real adventure for them.

Grace as behavior

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 21:33:50 GMT

Another reason why I was looking forward to this trip was to meet Amanda for the first time, some of you know her from her BLOG .

It felt very much like a blind "date" and I was thinking about that question "Would I like myself if I were to meet me?" and the answer was "no"...I was so distracted with thinking about my camera equipment, the weather forecast for the day of the wedding, locations for my shoots and logistics, that I had nothing to give. It was the day before the wedding, and my mind was hyper-focused--I knew I wouldn't be much of a conversationalist, and yet, I was SO looking forward to finally meeting Amanda. Steve and I had been talking about this meeting for months.

Amanda has an uncommon grace.

"Grace as behavior is rare, and it's getting rarer" - May Sarton

Just her smile calmed me right away, her soft kind manners were a gift. She is just soft, her voice is soft, her smile is soft, her heart is soft, and in the end I walked away knowing that she is indeed very strong, because most of us are not brave enough to be that soft, it is a vulnerable thing really. She was truly natural. I was struck by how generous she was, and how much she loves Jesus, truly loves Him in a personal way.

In some ways she reminds me of my sister Julie because she is loyal, and encouraging. She loves hard and fully. Talking with her refreshed me. Both her and Angela (the bride) are life enhancing personalities.

I was telling Steve how much I liked photographing her because she looks like a fairy, a dainty fairy.

Here she is with Miss Lucy her daughter.

"A single gesture often brings us a moment of grace" -May Sarton

"...The day

Of little things, that grow not less.

Our moments fly-enough if on their way

You lent them loveliness." -May Sarton

*Here we are together slightly distorted because I am taking the photo with my outstretched arm.

Angela and Craig

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 14:04:37 GMT

On the long drive to Norfolk, Steve and I talked about this ring shot. I knew that Angela wanted something special because this ring was so unique and important to her. Craig bought it for her in Africa. So together Steve and I came up with this idea, and Craig and Angela went for it. Steve likes the ring picture I posted below better because the shadow of Craig's hand dropping the ring gives it more depth, but I am including this first one as well because it is the image I had in my mind when I set up the shot.

Angela and Craig are amazing...they are living a DREAM life, working in South Africa and traveling..always traveling. They spent this past Christmas in Bethlehem. I so wanted to meet her, I was trying to describe her to Janet before I left for the wedding. There is a side to me that very very few people "get"--my love of culture, especially third world travel/adventure/work. I knew Angela would be the type of person that I would want to know for the rest of my life.

When I read about Angela on her BLOG or see her images on her SITE I am always always smiling, wishing I was there with her, even for just a visit. In person, she is just who I expected her to be..strong, the kind of strength that you read about in biographies of powerful women. She has such a presence, and Craig is kind and funny..comfortable in his own skin kind of funny but strong too. They seem to be both leaders, in love, and aimed in the same direction.

Angela and Craig are ridiculously good looking, but who they are shines brighter. I could fill pages with all that I loved about their wedding and the wonderful people I met, it will have to come later when I post the rest of the pictures.

For now here is just a peek for Angela and Craig, I hope you guys are having a beautiful honeymoon! It was a gift to be part of your day!

Home again

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 11:05:29 GMT

We are back from an incredible wedding and a long wonderful vacation and are all feeling this way.

I think Chloe needs just a few more knots in that hat. Eti has learned how to tie his shoes and he must have been practicing his new skill.

At the end of the day

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 01:02:42 GMT

You know when you read someone else's books...books they love, books that moved them, it is similar to reading their personal journal. You learn so much about the interior world of that person, because they in some way identified with the author. It is intimate really, because we are a part of what we read.

There are some books I treasure that I have yet to find people who "get" that author but when I read the work I think "Yes, yes, that is exactly how I think and feel!"

"We read to know that we are not alone" --C. S. Lewis

I love the curves and waves in the pictures below reminding me of the movement of thought within the pages. Whole worlds can be hidden in there.

Recently, a friend of ours who is in seminary said to us, "The thing about being in seminary is that you have time to think things through to the end. It is your job as a student to turn it over on all its sides and come to conclusions. After seminary, life comes at you so fast that you never have this chance again."

I have been thinking about that all week. How as a mother I live in fragments, everything is broken down to increments, and even those increments get interrupted. Chores, conversations...life.

I write my thoughts on scraps of paper... key words to remind me of things I want to get back to, studies I want to do, things I am curious about. What has me so inspired is thinking "What do I want to invest the time thinking through to the end?" I so, so agree with what my friend Rachael's dad said: "At the end of the day, we did exactly what we wanted to do." I can make time to think things through...to see a thought to the end if I really wanted to. That is what books are, the author, on some given topic, did not give up.

I was just reading about Alexandra Stoddard (in her book Grace Notes) when she was a teenager, her Aunt who was a world traveler wanted to take her and her two cousins around the world. The summer before their big trip the aunt mailed her two cartons of books to prepare her for the trip. Her aunt did not want to waste her hard earned money on taking anyone on the trip who was uneducated. So Alexandra read the fifty two books that her Aunt sent in the four months time that she had before the trip. I would love to know what the titles of the fifty two books were! Even more fun to think about... what books would you send if you were the Aunt?

I have been keeping a list of every book I read since the mid 90's . My hardbound journal shares the pages not only with my lists but also the lists of other people. This year Jeff asked if he could start a list in my book, so I let him--as long as it is a real chapter book.

I have a list from my dad on the top five Christian books every one should read, he said he would get back to me on number five but hasn't yet, I think he wants to keep the possibility open.

1)Pilgrim's Progress

2)Screwtape Letters

3)Calvin's Institutes (he says they read like a devotional, they also preach and are practical ministering to your soul)

4)Spurgeon-Treasury of David what my dad calls Spurgeon's Magnum OpuS

Another list from Jennifer the first "soul sister" I ever met who shared my deep love of reading. Here are some of hers:

Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier

Night - Elie Wiesel

The Brothers Karamozov - Fyodor Dostovevski

Ethan Frome - Edith Wharton

Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

Native Son - Richard Wright

Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte

She introduced to me to many of her literary friends who I now call friends.

A children's book list from my dear friend Louise, (she is the friend who introduced me to Glaskill) This is just a sampling of her list:

The Secret Garden - Francis Hodgson Burnett

Peter Pan - J.M. Barrie

The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame

The Swiss Family Robinson - William H.G. Kingston

The Jungle Book and Just So Stories - Rudyard Kipling

The Paddington series

Five Little Peppers -Margaret Sidney

I have my list of books that Lewis talks about--he talks about many authors but ones of particular interest I jot down, because C.S. Lewis is at the top of my top five list, and so I like to follow his rabbit trails and see where they lead. Here are some of the bits I have from things he wrote on other authors:

"I love Edith Nesbit, I think I have learned a lot from her about how to write stories of this kind."

"I have been reading Pride and Predjudice on and off all my life and it doesn't wear out a bit. Charles Lamb too, you'll find his letters as good as his essays."

The thing with Janet and I, we are six years apart but have often read the same books growing up. This time I was reading one of hers and left it overnight in a rainstorm. Not a big deal at all, I went out and bought her a new one at Borders the very next day. The hardest part was all her notes were in the original. We both treat books like journals, writing all over the margins and on the blank pages in the back, so I sat down page by page underlining in the new book where she had underlined in the old book and transcribing her thoughts in the margins. Making the new one personal and more alive like the old one was. I still liked the old one better with all its ripples and curves and her handwriting.